my room smells like sperm. sweet.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
