I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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