i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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