i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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