I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
