There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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