do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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