If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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