Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
