I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize