thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
