i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
