brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I intend to get homeless drunk
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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