Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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