And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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