i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize