Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
