Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Randomize
