I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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