The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
