Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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