Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
