And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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