Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Operation Purity has been aborted
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
