I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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