You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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