I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize