I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
