wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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