she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
