I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
