Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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