The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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