he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
