but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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