I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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