he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
