chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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