They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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