at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
