I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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