I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
