Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
