Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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