She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
