there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
