I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
