singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
