Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
