at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
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