Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
