Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
