apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
