Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize