only you would photoshop your dick
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize