i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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