You don't have asthma, your pregnant
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
