I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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