She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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