Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize