Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You need a sexual gate keeper
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
