I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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